Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
