Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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