i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
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