"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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