They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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