We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
