I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
My feet surprised me
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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