Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
