Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
