You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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