biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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