Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
