chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
