Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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