I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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