he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
