there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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