just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
