he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
