No awkward lesbian experiences without me
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
