I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Randomize
