he wants to bone in the snuggie
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
