Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
