Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
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