I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
