both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
