The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize