maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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