Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize