We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
