I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
