I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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