it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Operation Purity has been aborted
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
