Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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