Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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