i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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