I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
