At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
