You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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