I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
