She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i barfeds in our rink
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
