My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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