I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
