She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
