No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
