The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Randomize
