I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
