So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
