this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
