The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
