This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
