i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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