I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
