oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
