It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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