I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
What drink are we having for lunch?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
