ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Holy sore nipples Batman
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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