You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
