you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize