if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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