So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
we made out on top of his cat.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
