Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
