it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize