Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Randomize
