every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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